Dwight Howard aka "100-Watt Warlock"
Because the world has an identity crisis, the Wu Tang Clan name generator is the No. 1 Google Trend this morning.
People are sitting around their cubicles or at home running their own names through the Wu Tang Clan Name Generator to generate their new, much cooler, Wu Tang Clan name. (The Wu Tang Clan is a hip hop group in case you were wondering).
Since Orlando Magic players are probably nowhere near a computer this morning, we’ve decided to run their names through this fun — yet odd — Wu Tang Clan Name Generator to obtain their new names.
(Although, the name generator must be running low on ideas considering Mickael Pietrus and Stan Van Gundy are both called ”Tha Winged Cow.” C’mon, there can only be one cow on the Orlando Magic)
Dwight Howard – 100-Watt Warlock
Jameer Nelson – Budget Nudist
Vince Carter – Superintendent God-Botherer
Matt Barnes – Ultra-Chronic Monstah
Rashard Lewis – Illegitimate Muslim Fundamentalist
J.J. Redick – Temporary Spastic
Brandon Bass – Big Gay Mule
Ryan Anderson – Jive Talkin’ Choirboy
Adonal Foyle – Tha Visible Choirboy
Marcin Gortat – Jive Talkin’ Choirboy
Jason Williams – Crafty Barnardo
Anthony Johnson – Cheeky Delinquent
Mickael Pietrus – Tha Winged Cow
Stan Van Gundy – Tha Winged Cow
From yours truly,
Partially-Formed Transformah